Last week I talked about how biceps are not the way to a girl’s
heart. Also on how it takes several 16 year old men to put in a light bulb, and
12 to figure out what a text message means. This week I dive into the idea and second
goal on my worthless my list from 6 years ago. Number two on this list was
GET RICH NO MATTER WHAT.
Looking back on such a dull statement
I would like to clarify that I am not 50 cent. I am an awful rap sensation and
with my pin head I can’t fit into any flat billed hat. I’m now financially stable, but when this list
was written I had probably 180 dollars in the bank. I was really racking in
those dollars from the 6.25 an hour I was making at the Local Hy-vee. Most of
my money from that time period went to Dollar Tree and my Chicken Strip fund. I
think I only ate chicken strips for about a year span (toilet paper cost were
at an all time high. Sorry Mom and Dad). I had bought eight Bruce Springsteen
Cds at this point and clearly my loot was dwindling progressively.
I was such a douche at the age of
18. Now I can careless about money. All
I want is a job that can support me and future Boos. I was a Business Major back than and thought
this would help me become rich. I learned
to hate myself and money. At Northwest Missouri state (the world’s worst
college in the world’s worst city) a bald man who wore turtle necks all the
time made me realize my mind was much more complex than worrying about profit margins.
You should have seen the eyebrow’s on this guy.
Ancient Alaska Natives could have walked across these eyebrows they were
so thick. Another man who didn’t wear undershirts made me hate business as
well. He wore very thin shirts and had
the largest nipples on a male Id ever
seen. His nipples attempting to teach me Business Calculus made me walk out of
a math class. After eight weeks I couldn’t stare at those things anymore. They
were like owl’s eyes in a very scary movie in a dark forest. They sent me
running for the Hills. I never wanted to learn about money or giant male
nipples again. I came back to Kansas City and declared my degree Psychology.
Looking back now I can analyze and cognitively defeat the giant nipples so I was
happy God brought me back. I learned
that wealth was not important to me and at some point I would be just fine with
any degree financially. I never would
have thought that a man who looked like a turtle whose eyebrows conjoined continents,
and Doctor Nipple Douche would make me hate Business and money all together.
Hahahh. I'm glad someone's nipples were the deciding factor in what degree you choose.
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