Monday, December 3, 2012

Cave Women Vs. Neck Pubes

An irrational fear  of mine is my Italian neck hair. After recently hitting my third puberty my neck hair has been out of control.  I have been dating my awesome girlfriend for 4 months now and previous to us dating I had gotten word that she was going to be coming to my friends birthday party.  As I got word from my T-Mobile text message(Having Tmobile the text may have come from a year ago but my neck has was awful, so I preceded to call my haircut lady Ashley) I couldn't reach her through my 30 dollar cell phone. My next step was carrier pigeon. I have only seen Pigeons in Riverside and there was no way I was about to even get near a creature that resides in Riverside. I would instantaneously catch Lockjaw from the bird and metal would not even be in the transaction. Damn the ecosystems of Riverside. So with an hour until the event I drove to Fantastic Sams.(Nothing was fantastic about the establishment and none of the three workers who were there names were Sam and not even remotely close to such a name.)  The giant women who was going to cut my hair scared the living hell out of me. She was probably a division three athlete who had to leave college early because she broke her coaches dick off in a roid rage. Now she has been given a sharp utensil, a tarp, and a room full of mirrors at here disposal which made my neck pubes quiver like Italian neck hair can only do upon a cold winters night. She asked what I wanted and I preceded to tell her just a hair buzz hoping she wasn't going to cut my throat and harvest my seaman and blood for Winter or something. Anyway the hair was cut by the cave dwelling women and Amanda didn't end up showing to the Birthday party I was going too.  Guys Girls don't mind the neck pubes unless you just give up on hygiene.  Date women who like you for who you are!!!! Its amazing when you do!!! Before I met this girl I thought all women talked about Pintercrest,dick sizes,laundry soap smells and how they want to have sex with Edward the Vampire. Alteast 45% of women talk about those things but there are good women out there.