Monday, January 6, 2014

Still Can't Order...

Very excited for this year. Recently asked a women to marry me and she responded by “Are you shitting me”? Well not really. This will be such a busy, but exciting year of life. I got a car I actually like for the journey ahead.  If a Subaru had sex with a Mini Cooper you would get a Nissan Juke.  From space it looks like a football with fins. I am entering my second year of graduate school for something I want to do. I hope I never have to work at a desk because I have 43 bobble heads and they would have nowhere to bobble.  During an interview I would bring them with them with me.  The interviewee would be so confused because my business associates would agree with everything I said. I got fired from the Y because the main lady never put me on her payroll apparently for like a year.  Keeping me on for 17-24 Dollars a month was such a pain in the Ass I guess.  Man I put those tables up quickly. I worked kid’s night out for three years one day a month.  The Jig was up. 

My main goal for this year is to finally order right at restaurants.  To this day my greatest flaw is ordering in restaurants.  Just the other day I ordered a Margareti pizza. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?? I am the worst orderer of all time.   I once ordered a “Got to Love to Have it” at Cold Stone. Again WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT??    It sounds like some kind of sexual favor. I’m not a gross person, I just can’t order.  I could see myself ordered somewhere asking, “I will take a got to love to have it”? I could be hung in the village square for that.  I once asked at Starbucks for an Asango pretzel??? Me, Aqua Man, and the women who worked there were baffled by my stupidity.  Asiago was cheese I was searching for.  The very cow in which it came from should have kicked me in the nuts for being so dumb.  My goal this year is to learn to order like an adult.  No more of this snap chat socially awkward bullshit.  Im tired of waiters and waitresses looking at me like I am some nocturnal dirt farmer who was raised by Wild Boars.  I promise you servers of this world, I will learn to order.