Saturday, February 25, 2012

The Man you Stupid Chronicles-15 cent in the house

Last week I talked about how biceps are not the way to a girl’s heart. Also on how it takes several 16 year old men to put in a light bulb, and 12 to figure out what a text message means. This week I dive into the idea and second goal on my worthless my list from 6 years ago. Number two on this list was


Looking back on such a dull statement I would like to clarify that I am not 50 cent. I am an awful rap sensation and with my pin head I can’t fit into any flat billed hat.  I’m now financially stable, but when this list was written I had probably 180 dollars in the bank. I was really racking in those dollars from the 6.25 an hour I was making at the Local Hy-vee. Most of my money from that time period went to Dollar Tree and my Chicken Strip fund. I think I only ate chicken strips for about a year span (toilet paper cost were at an all time high. Sorry Mom and Dad). I had bought eight Bruce Springsteen Cds at this point and clearly my loot was dwindling progressively.

I was such a douche at the age of 18.  Now I can careless about money. All I want is a job that can support me and future Boos.  I was a Business Major back than and thought this would help me become rich.  I learned to hate myself and money. At Northwest Missouri state (the world’s worst college in the world’s worst city) a bald man who wore turtle necks all the time made me realize my mind was much more complex than worrying about profit margins. You should have seen the eyebrow’s on this guy.  Ancient Alaska Natives could have walked across these eyebrows they were so thick. Another man who didn’t wear undershirts made me hate business as well.  He wore very thin shirts and had the largest nipples on a male Id  ever seen. His nipples attempting to teach me Business Calculus made me walk out of a math class. After eight weeks I couldn’t stare at those things anymore. They were like owl’s eyes in a very scary movie in a dark forest. They sent me running for the Hills. I never wanted to learn about money or giant male nipples again. I came back to Kansas City and declared my degree Psychology. Looking back now I can analyze and cognitively defeat the giant nipples so I was happy God brought me back.  I learned that wealth was not important to me and at some point I would be just fine with any degree financially.  I never would have thought that a man who looked like a turtle whose eyebrows conjoined continents, and Doctor Nipple Douche would make me hate Business and money all together.

1 comment:

  1. Hahahh. I'm glad someone's nipples were the deciding factor in what degree you choose.