Thursday, February 2, 2012

When I Grow up I want to be a.....

 "Gotta find me a future move out of my way"-Queen

As I type this a heavily annoying women has made three phone calls and clearly isn't working on anything important. Up until the age of 19 I wanted to be a zoologist. As I went to community college and discovered how much I really hated animals, the dream began to taper off. The older I got the more I discovered I didn't want to clean up elephant shit with a jumbo toilet brush from Sam's Club.  I then decided on business just cause the idea of money seemed good. Little did I know every d-bag goes into business, so I had no idea what would come next. At the age of 20 I decided to figure out who I was. I didn't start wearing ass less chaps and go lay in a tanning bed or anything, but I discovered I really liked Psychology. I declared this as my major after some awesome community college professors got me involved with human development.  After my final semester at Maple Woods Community College I decided I wanted to one day teach Human Development.  That final semester I learned alot of gross things about women and why I did the things I did at the time. My identity started to take shape. I wasn't ashamed of who I was and as my confidence grew so did my social yelps(A loud noise made by Italian men with small ears).  I love my new developed loud self who only feared large groups of fat women and used adult diapers(I have a terrible irrational fear that one day I will stumble upon where they place all the depends of the elderly and kids will be playing in it and I will freak out. I will yell get out of there but they will not listen).Anyway I found what I wanted to do and that's shape the minds of 18 years old and old people who have no idea what they want to do(they will probably just save there depends and throw them on my car after my first lecture).Teaching Human development means getting a MASTERS DEGREE! So now the search for the right school begins. When I grow up I want to be Myself. I want my natural creativity and poise and good posture to inspire young minds everywhere to seek a career that pleases them. People put to much placement on labels in our society. I want to be a DOCTOR, LAWYER,CLEAN ELEPHANT BUTT CRACKS,I WANT TO BE THE GUY WHO HIDES DEPENDS DIAPERS ALL OVER TOWN. Whatever you do with your life, don't change who you are.


  1. Oh you learned about women but we still had to have that convo about what poise were!